Haruki Murakami

It's been a while since I've last made an entry. I guess I've been busy with other things, or maybe I just forgot about my little blog. Anyhow, the past few days have ushered me into a kind of haze that I am not used to being a part of. I hate shit like this, and yet here I am right smack in the middle of it. I've already decided on my plan of action, which has officially taken effect about 4 hours ago. Not quite sure if what I am doing is right. Maybe I'll know in a couple of days, when the elapsed time allows for any reaction (any kind of reaction at all) to be made. In any case, it's the doing that counts, right? So cheers to (at least) doing something about it. 

My real concern though, is that emptiness I feel. Or rather, the perfect timing of it all. Just when everything is piling up, converging into a scary mass of what-the-fuck-is-this, the people I deem (or in one case, have deemed) important to me just seem to be so far away. Perhaps it is my own doing, or theirs, or a jingly mix of both our doubts and lapses in judgement that have led all of us to feeling a bit under the weather (to be very vague and general about it). Or maybe we all have our own loose ends to tie up. Or maybe we all just don't know what the fuck we're doing. It's all so unfair sometimes. Why can't things just fall into place? Why can't certain things just happen? Why did any of it have to happen? Why now? Why me? Why him? Why her? Why you? All these questions have been arrogantly parading themselves in my mind that they're what I think about since shit went down last last Thursday. I had been asking why life has to be difficult and I was miraculously answered by this hilarious video I came across in Tumblr. This boy tells his friend that life is hard. His friend simply replies: "Kung hindi mahirap, may mali kang ginagawa." (If it isn't difficult, you're doing something wrong.) If that is the case then I sure as hell must be doing everything right! Haha! All kidding aside, I sure hope all this revelation crap that's supposed to be the result of a difficult situation happens soon cause I don't like any of this Gossip Girl type shit happening. Not one bit. Plus I miss certain people in my life and want them back. So Lord, please hear me out on this one 'cause I'm counting on you to help me out. I'm doing my part, I need your help with the rest.